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The warforged is forbidden to complain that because he can't get drunk, high, or laid, he has nothing to do at night.

The Demon Wastes are not the Ashlands, nor does a Rakshasa Rajah named Dagoth Ur live in the volcano north of Ashtakala.

Inspector Gadget is not a Reforged with countless attachments.

The Lord of Blades does not drink Mad Dog WD-40.

There is no Sarah Connor, so I musnt send the warforged out to find her

An air elemental powered airship is not a 'hybrid'.

Warforged do not have ignition keys.

Whether Warforged have souls is irrelevant, stop trying to sell them one.

Just because the cleric heals you doesnt mean he likes you.

All warforged repair kits lack Duct Tape, and are therefore worthless

"Mordenkainen's Magnificent Duct Tape of Warforged Repair" does not exist, and I should not sell any more rolls of Duct Tape this way.

A warforged's nose will not get longer if they lie, and I should stop telling this to the warforged.

There is no artifacer named Gipetto that will make any warforged into a 'real little boy'. I shoul stop telling this to the warforged, as well.

803) Thou shalt not infer that King Kiaus was turned into a vampire by a sentient runeblade Vol sent him as a birthday gift.

804) Therefore, you may not refer to him as "Arthas", nor hint that Vol is simply a gender confused Lichking.

805) By the same logic, there is no army of undead preparing to cleanse Khorvaire of the living races in preperation for a demonic invasion...and Karnnath wouldn't have anything to do with it, if there was.

806) Under no circumstances are you to free Rajahs, not even if they promise to say "tremble mortals, and dispaire, Doom has come to this world!" when they get out.

807) Refrain from calling that tride of Orc barbarians in the Demon Wastes who serve the Rajahs the "Blackrock Clan", "Warsong Clan", or demanding to speak with Grom Hellscream upon capture by said orcs.

Using a Silence spell on the badguy during his tirade, while appreciated, is bad form.

Robbing the rich and feeding the poor wont get me a 'freebe' from the hot paladin chick.

Warforged do not run on D-cell batteries.

Kaius is not Meier Link in disguise
Nor is he "D"
Vol is not Carmella


Any umbragen who is a ranger, has two scimitars, and has a black panther onyx figurine will be shot on sight.

The barbarian will not refer to his rage as a 'limit break'.

You do not have to ask "Anybody at home, MacFly" whenever you cast a knock spell.

Nor is the formula "Knock, knock, Neo!"

When your female char wakes up besides a handsome guy with a smile on her face it is not funny to say "Why, oh, why didn't I take the blue pill?"

You shall not call the ships personality HAL nor remove its memory banks.

Brilliant energy longswords are not lightsabers

Rakashasas are not members of the Masons or effette British Indian Colonialists.

35. It is wrong to cast magic mouth spells to play "The Phantom of the Opera" when he enters the room.

36. Or eat garlic pizza before talking to him.

37. Or hold up mirrors behind him while mouthing the word "Vampire."

38. Queen Aurala is not to be referred to as Glinda.

39. You cannot summon a Rajah by saying 'Hastur' three times.

62. Shifters cannot be Catgirls.

63. Or Foxgirls.

64. OR BUNNY GIRLS.

65. Even if they were I could not make a mansion of them and sell their pictorials.